I know a few moms who are very honest and kind to their children. They would never lie to their kids. That means they would never steal from them, either. It really is sad thinking about all the parents who would have the audacity to steal candy from their children on Halloween (or in the days afterwards). I mean, who would be so cruel as to steal candy from innocent children???
Well, send me to parenting jail, but I DO! I steal candy from my kids! I ADMIT IT! And oh, it’s so delicious…
Let’s talk strategy, here, moms and dads. When stealing candy from children, you must be very clever, because those little boogers are wicked smart, and incredibly observant. The minute they return home from trick-or-treating, they sort and count their loot. Your best bet for scoring a large amount of stolen candy is to do it under the cover of darkness and BEFORE they’ve sorted and counted. Distract them with a trip into a haunted house along your route, and offer to hold their bag. Just take a few pieces in order to fly under their radar, and be sure to have a coat with pockets. Otherwise you can reach into their bag as they cry into your shoulder, scared by some insanely dressed teenager. This technique works well if you have quick hands.
Of course bedtime is a good time to steal too, but this is usually after they’ve counted and sorted. So, when they wake up and see some pieces missing, pretend to be on the phone with the Veterinarian, asking if you need to bring the dog in, due to candy consumption. Works every time.
Good luck!
(disclaimer- this is meant to be funny... festive... don't worry, I'm not really supportive of stealing. but accidently reaching in for some candy or having it accidently fall into the pockets of your goddess coat is totally fine :).
2 comments:
I fully endorse stealing candy from children. Right on!!!
Love this, Becca! And I will also readily admit that I steal candy from my kiddos - they aren't old enough to count & sort yet so I have plenty of time... heh heh heh :)
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